The Player

Player may refer to:
Player (dating), slang term for a (usually male, but also female) individual skilled at sexual seduction

I wasn't born here. I was washed ashore so many years ago. I was wide eyed and bushy tailed but I wasn't totally naive. My only experiece with sex was a bad one, and the memory of that bad experience was the one I took with me when I arrived.... more on that in the posts to come...

My exposure to men and dating was limited, so I was delighted when The Player came knocking on my door. I knew what he was all about. I knew his game and I knew his intentions. And I was ready... bursting at the seams to just let out all the sexual frustrations I've been bottling up all these frickin' years. A funny thing on my way to be nailed by TP, was my lack of terminology. Late one night, after pigging out on copious amounts of ice cream, TP called and asked if I'd like to "kick it". I wasn't exactly sure what "it" was and why should we kick "it" but hey, I'm game. I told myself to be open to new ideas and sexual experiences. Franky, I was hoping he'd come over and poke my brains out since masturbation ain't cutting it anymore. So he came that night, I could see he was excited. I could practically feel his hard on emanate heat and burning away every stitch of clothing I had. We sat in his car for a good 10 mins. talking about bullshit things, just trying to get a feel, then it was like a shot was fired between us because in about 10 secs we were all over each other. His hand under my blouse, me clumsily undoing his pants, then his mouth replacing his hands and then... he sticks his hand down my pants and he goes... "woah... it's like a broken pipe"... the virgin in me (oh hahha shut up) kinda pulled away, the bitch said "well do you have a problem with that??" at the same time successfully finding my way into his pants... apparently he doesn't have a problem with it.

This is where it turns a little bit.... hinky, I suppose. In the heat of the moment, we lost all thought and we just jumped out of the car and in the cover of darkness, proceeded to "kick it" outdoors. Yep. Outdoors... where the neighbors can see us had they been awake at that late hour... who knows, maybe they were. But a blow to TP's ego was that since we were outside, he had performance issues and so did I. Remember, this was the first time in 50,000 years I had sex again. So the sexual tension that was building just went kaput. TP and I made another schedule to kick it although nothing ever came of it. Just a few here and there and to be honest, nothing head spinning about it.

A Hiccup

On the way home yesterday from the shrink's office (uh no, not for me), a car whizzed past by me on the intersection. I thought the driver was familiar. A momentary glance was all I needed to know, that he was my first ever hiccup.

What's a hiccup you say? well, a hiccup in my world is like a mini-episode porn episode... or let's say it's the soft porn in my hardcore porn sexual life. A hiccup does everything but... you get my point. This hiccup I named, Mama's Boy (MB).. because well, do I really need to explain it?? he was a mama's boy. Sad though, this guy was impossibly handsome guy... tall, a slightly muscular yet I don't work out body, wavy dark thick hair and piercing jet black eyes. He had this middle eastern air about him which really worked in his favor. He could have any girl in the next 7 counties but once mama calls on his cellphone, he can barely button his pants before he's out the door.

I met MB through one of his relatives. Funny no? this relative of his actually was trying to put the moves on me, to which I replied "if I wanted to sleep with my father's oldest brother??! I'll give him a call!" just for the record, I'm not into the family thing.. that's just sick. Maybe to get on my good side, old relative introduced me to him. Just like any typical male, Mama's boy started with the right words. The sweet nothings, the thoughtful phone calls. Not that I was expecting commitment from him. I was smart enough to know that his type (and all the other types like him that I "dated" after and before) will never commit, but the gestures were nice. That went on for a few weeks and a month until we hooked up finally... thing is, we never hooked up all the way. My "relationship" with MB was purely oral... for him. I always got the short end of the stick so to speak (and by no means was is short... it was impressive -- a characteristic of his type) before mama came a-calling. I didn't mind really, he reacted, he was enthusiastic, he talked dirty which turned me on and he counted down to his orgasm to give me due notice. Isn't that considerate? If we had the actual sex, I think it would've have been great... he seemed to know where to put his hands, where to put his lips and tongue and how to control junior. Why we never went all the way? bad timing on his part. He comes (ahem) on those times where I am unable to ride :D but it never stopped him from asking for a little fellatio oral love. And I gave it willingly because he was so gosh darned handsome. Then one day, MB disappeared... stayed quiet and out of my life forever... *sigh*... serves me for being too shallow.

The First of Many...

posts I hope. I started blogging about the men I slept with once. It got to be too much. Total slut? I don't think so.. just more adventurous than most. Until recently, I have been committing to memory all my sexual escapades... until a very dear friend of mine pushed me (with much convincing mind you) into resurrecting the blog (he's lucky he's far enough away to be a casual reader and not participant hahaha). Why not? why should men be the only ones to spew their thoughts on the day after. I shall have my day... and the day starts now...

**DISCLAIMER: THE NAMES OF THE MEN, THEIR APPEARANCE, RACE, NATIONALITY, AGE, WERE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE SATISFIED**

One of these days, I will start from the very beginning but for now, let me tell you about Construction Guy (CG). One thing you ought to know about me, is that I like being single. Not that I look down on the committed and the married, but I like how I can just pick up and run where I want to without a care in the world. But sometimes, being single gets lonely. You can't really blame me is i troll for me. Being in the IT age, most of the legwork for dating has been taken care of the Internet. So I met Construction guy last weekend in a certain chat room. Innocently enough, we start talking. Let me get this straight, I did not meet him with the thought of sleeping with him... companionship for the night, yes; cuddling, sure; maybe a little kissing but hopefully no, having sex with? no. The bio hazard alarm sounding in my head the moment I saw him should've triggered red flags. See what I hate about the Internet, is that people aren't who they seem to be. Photos can be deceiving, tone of voice another matter. This guy in person, was nothing like they guy online. Being the nice girl that I am (sure), I decided to give CG a chance... we share a laugh, a little joke, a drink... then the guy proceeded to eat my face!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked back to the time I lost virginity when I was 15. My boyfriend at that time had no clue. Granted, I didn't know anything about sex then, but I knew enough to know that it wasn't supposed to be that bad.. I laid there, like a stiff board, counting the minutes. That was also the time I learned to fake an orgasm but that's another story.

So CG eats my face... he was everywhere, I could feel his teeth, he kept shoving his tongue down my throat...it was really bad... what ever possessed me to have sex with him, I think it was a momentary lapse in judgement. I didn't think anyone could do worse than my first boyfriend... God, I was wrong. This man was the absolute worst. Pity though, he had the equipment... and what a fine equipment it was. I believe that if you're going to teach sex ed in schools.. teach the boys that SEX IS NOT ALL ABOUT POUNDING AND GRUNTING!! Because seriously that was what it was. A lot of humping and grunting and nothing else. I tell him "like that" and he stops and does it another way... I go "right there" and he goes another way... and normally in sex, if you're in the missionary position, at least you and him are on the level face to face... this guy was face to face with my breasts. Afterwards he was so proud of himself and what is to become a mortal sin to me, asked me for a post-coital fellatio. I was dead tired from the sex, and in a bad way. I think.. so far this has got to be the worst sexual encounter I had... EVER!!!